Help Me Make History From My Bed

So everyone's like, "Omg! I love your blog!", "You are so funny!", and I'm like "Okay, but where are the comments?" and "How come I only have 2 followers??!!!"
Seriously people! I am trying to take over the blogosphere here! Cant you give me some more positive feedback.
I love reading comments! They are like little gems in my life that remind me people are actually reading my blog. I read much more boring and pathetic blogs all the time with like 23 comments under the post, and you cant even say "Hey! Hangover Hair! You rock!"
I would actually even love some mean comments. Shit, at least I would be getting some action around here. You could say, "Wow! This post sucks! I'm sticking to Bitch Bitch Bitch, where I can get a far more entertaining read." Or how about, "Your writing sucks, but you do look hot in your profile pic!! *gag*wink*---From TECHNOSUXxx2000"
Let's make a deal!
I will give you the posts that your brain desires and you will tell at least 5 friends (I don't think that's asking too much) to read my BLOG!
AAAAND! Don't forget to comment!!!
If not, I wont continue laying here in bed doing what I do best...No not having sex!!! WRITING MY BLOG PERVERT!!!
Anyways, I love all my Hangover Heads! You are like what little monsters are to LADY GAGA!
xoxoxo
wink*
(gasp)
sigh
~~ASHLEY ~~

I thought this was a funny homage to the badass chick above. She is one hardcore bitch that I will never be. But I admire her sass! I need to seriously find some stillettos like that...

No Excuses

I wasn't sleeping this time. Just sheer laziness. I need to get in the habit of blogging more. But when I do, I usually stay up late and that's what was probably making me tired. Give me some time to figure out a system.
Until then...Here is a picture that I am quite fond of...

Spread the news

I need readers. If I have readers, then I will become the most famous blog in the whole world, the female Perez Hilton and I'll have to wear bright pink suits with neon sunglasses, die my hair different colors and then I'll get to travel to every award show around the world. Yes, that would be the life because award shows are awesome. So, if you're reading this, tell your friend, and then he will tell his friend, who will tell her Mom, who will in turn tell her sister, then the sister will tell her friend, who will tell her Grandmother, who will tell her whole Bingo Club, and the President of the Bingo Club will happen to be the Grandfather of Mark Zuckerberg (Yeah, the guy who created Facebook). Then Mark Zuckerberg will announce to the press that he bought my blog for $4 million, I will get to do exclusive celebrity interviews, get invited to all the hippest parties, and be able to hire people to write my blog for me because I will be too busy to blog. So instead, I will start vlogging and become the face of Zucaritas (Yes, that is Spanish frosted flakes). They will replace Tony the Tiger with me, then I'll get a book deal about my life, go on Celeb-reality, that will then lead to Celebrity Sober House, my career will sink, but then I will create a blog again, and OD after the first post.