Sunday, January 10, 2010

Borrowed and Never Returned

It's time to come clean ladies.
Remember that dress your girlfriend let you borrow a couple of years ago? Now is the time to stop acting like you forgot you borrowed it. We all know you didn't forget. In fact you gleam at it everyday in your closet with pride, like a dog who proudly brought the rat they caught to their owner. You kept it, shamelessly stole your friends dress, never to return, pretending like you forgot you ever had it.
I know you lady. I've been you before. "As long as she doesn't ask for it, I'm in the clear."
No! You're a thief, a liar, and a cheat.
I've been on the other side as well. The one who had her favorite vintage tees ripped from right under her nose. Never to see Jim Morrison's face plastered over her tits ever again.

Either way it blows.
As a sister hood we need to stop doing this to each other. If you want the dress so bad, at least ask your fellow fashionista if you can buy it off her first. Or just be honest, borrow it for a while, take a few cute pictures in it, then give it back.
So now, lets take this time to publicly apologize to our dear friends we borrowed clothes from and never returned. Let us promise to be honest with our sisters and never steal their clothing again.

Special thanks to: Girlfriends that let me borrow underwear when I sleepover longer than I packed for. Pretty sure there is an unwritten sister hood law that you don't get those back.

(If you just read this and you have my "Doors" shirt, my "Houses of the Holy" tank, my first James Pierce shirt, my "Colt 45" tee, and my Chrome Hearts sweatshirt, which wasn't actually borrowed- it was stolen from a club- I want them back bitch!)

On a side note...
Dear Mr. Washer and Mr. Dryer,
Where the fuck are my 5 million socks?

No thanks,

1 comment:

  1. Ohhhhh Ashley,
    How right you are! I wrote out a list of missing clothes just last night.